Self-confessed sexual prey, Ese Walter, has admitted that she was conscious of her sexual tirades with Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo of Coza: “I am far from right, but I have used the only means available to me to free myself of the bondage I put myself in,” she said in her latest blog entitled, “Going Forward”.
An investigation by Daily Review Online confirmed that she really enjoyed every bit of her affair with the Pastor.
In her March 27, 2013 posting entitled “Sunscreen”, which came before her confession to the sexual tirades, she advised people to use their body the way they want: ” Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.”
On March 16 posting entitled “make love not war ladies” she said all men behaves the same and need to be pampered and that all relationships are not expected to end in marriage.
“MEN ARE BABIES! Every single one of them. They need pampering, care, love, affection, attention, good food and what not. LOL. Well, seriously though, without sounding like a man-hater, I think men are not as complicated as we have been led to believe. All those sayings, ‘all men are the same,’ ‘men are liars,’ ‘men will be men’ and whatever else we have said or been told are only half-truths. I can never fully understand the male folks and to be honest I don’t necessarily have to. Men are men and women are women, we think and act differently and it would always be that way. Besides, I think it is impossible for a normal woman to understand the typical male’s mindset and vice versa. That’s the reason why I personally don’t waste my time on books, seminars, events or anything else that aims to teach women how to think like men”.
She also advises that people should not “feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life.”
On April 6, 2013′ in a post entitled, “How to live an authentic life,” she said: “I realized for the first time that in almost three decades, I had been living a very unauthentic life. A fake life in you will. One that changes depending on where I was and whom I was trying to please. You cannot begin to imagine the utter misery living like that was.”
She ended the piece by pasting the picture of a frog with the wordings: “Not a single gram of fuck shall be given today.”
On her latest blog she apologized to Nigerians for whatever hurt her confession must have done. “The past week has ‘killed’ me. It has stripped me of whatever ‘self-importance’ I nursed in the corners of my mind. It has broken me and opened me up to my real self. It has brought me to a deeper level of self-awareness, one I am most grateful for.
I am not perfect, I will never be, but I am enough to try what I feel might work. I don’t know what the entire bible says but I am learning and applying the little I find out daily. And I think everyone owes it to himself or herself to figure it out for themselves.
“At the end of the day, we agree that ‘men of God’ are firstly men, right? This means it’s needless expecting them to help you in your growth with God. I fell into that trap of thinking a ‘man of God’ is equated to God and it is not new to find people fall in that hole.
“How do you begin to learn to serve a God you have never seen? It takes another level of faith to do that but we live in a generation/Country where people don’t want to study for themselves. They don’t want to read the Scriptures. Well, they don’t want to read, period. They want to pursue things instead and have somebody do the praying and studying for them. If you fall in that category, you need to repent.
“I learnt that when the veil was torn, we all were given equal access to the Father. No matter how long you may have been in church, if you don’t know what that means you better ask somebody. And seek a real relationship with the God you claim to serve.
“That is what I am spending most of my time doing these days. Praying, studying, seeking, knocking. The peace I have felt despite all the hate mails and tantrums shows that God is not angry with me and I did what I needed to do to the best of my understanding.
“My apologies to everyone this has affected in one way or another”.