By Our Reporter
As a social worker, lawyer and mediator, a big part of Bill Eddy’s professional life is spent protecting clients from adult bullies — whether it’s in the workplace, at home or in the community. While his primary concern lies with the victims, Eddy also tries to better understand the behavior of bullies. Over time, he has identified 10 “superpowers” that all bullies use to intimidate and attack their targets, and he’s come up with six ways to fight back. Eddy’s advice? “Try not to be judgmental. Be strategic.”
“When enough of us recognize these ten powers and learn to use the six strategies, we can stop bullies in their tracks over and over and create a much healthier world — with safe families, workplaces, and communities for us all,” Eddy wrote in his latest book, Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them, How to Stop Them.
Eddy explains how bullies manipulate others beneath their conscious awareness by using primitive emotional powers to immobilize victims with blame and shame or mobilize victims against the bully’s other targets. But this drive to dominate others plus the lack of internal brakes don’t make a bully unstoppable. Eddy provides a six-step strategy for overcoming a bully’s powers by:
• Recognizing a bully’s pattern
• Pulling the plug on a bully’s behavior
• Setting limits
• Imposing consequences
• Educating others
• Standing with others
“I wrote this book because today’s adult bullies use primitive emotional powers to activate fear, rage and loyalty within us without our awareness,” Eddy explained. “But once you know about these powers, you’ll realize they are hidden in plain sight, and you can avoid them or become less susceptible to them.”
Through knowing a bully’s predictable personality-based pattern of aggressive behavior and learning to be strategic instead of judgmental, readers can build confidence and gain allies to help decrease bullying behavior.
About the Author
Bill Eddy is Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute based in San Diego, California. He trains lawyers, judges, mediators, and therapists throughout the United States and a dozen other countries in managing high-conflict family, workplace and legal disputes. He is the author of over 20 books and manuals and has a popular blog on PsychologyToday.com.