Please advise me: “My wife of 13 years has left our marriage”

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What you are about reading is the true story of a man(identity witheld) whose wife suddenly packed out of his house ending a 13- year old marriage. Now the woman wants to come back. What should this man do?

This happened in November of 2022.

I will say that I began to notice series of nonsense attitude from her when I lost my job in 2021.

She advised that I beg my brother inlaw who lives in Europe to help us relocate to Europe but I asked her that if the man hasn’t yet relocated his family (that is still in Nigeria since he travelled about 7years ago),is it outsiders that he will relocate?

We had two vehicles. A camry and SUV. I told her that we have to re-adjust our life style and start afresh to rebuild.

The first thing I did was to sell the SUV. Out of the proceeds,I gave her 700K to pay for a shop and stock it with provisoons.

I paid our rent and put the rest of the money in my account.

The Camry,I converted to UBER.

It’s true that things are not as comfortable as before but We were getting by or so I thought. Because what I didn’t expect was the total change in my wife.

The first thing she did was to stop attending the church we attended as a family.

She claimed their dressong and approach to salavation was depressing her spirit.
So,I was left attending the church with the children alone.

The next change I saw in her is that she began to wear trousers,please note that our church frowned at that. Then,she went to perm her hair. And began to wear weave-ons.

All these didn’t go down well with me but I refused to complain. If that made her happy,I was OK with it.

I even began to tell her she looks beautiful but it’s like she was becoming increasingly dissatisfied with her life with me. Because,each time I came back from work,It was one complaint or another.

When she began to wear trousers, she told our daughter that people have been complimenting her sexy figure (big as*) and wondering why she’s been hiding it behind “boring clothes”.

There was a day she told me that she can’t continue in a marriage that offers her no future,she reminded me that’s he is now 40 years old and has to make something out of her life.

Do you know that within 4 months that she opened that provision shop,she ran it down and claimed low patroniage?

I reminded her it’s because half of the time,the shop would be under lock and key,while she went to her friends’. She was always the one going to them,those ones focused on their own business more.

Eventually,I came back from work on evening in Novemeber to learn (from our eldest daughter) that their mum has left. And promised to come for them when she finds her feet.

I just went into my room and started crying.
It took all my power as a man not to break down infront of my children but as soon as I went into my room that evening,my first daughter followed me immediately…begging me not to be sad that she would be doing all the chores in the house.

The interesting thing that happened was that for three months that my wife left,none of her people called me to ask me what happened. I also didn’t call them,eventhough I learned that she moved in with her elder sister in the city…that one’s husband is a big man.

The issue right now is that her mum contacted me a few days ago (after THREE months that their daughter left my house) and asked me to come to PH and take back my wife.

She was even chiding me for not looking for my wife. And asked if they deserve the kind of disrespect I showed them by not informing them that their daughter was no longer in my house.

I just asked her how was I to know they were not aware.
She was always on the phone with them most hours of the day.

My elder sister heard about this call from my mother-in-law and she advised me not to go anywhere…that I should tell them to ask their daughter to come back home the same way she left.

I have not given any response to them.
I want to have more opinions on the matter before deciding.

My sister’s husband is even of the opinion that I shouldn’t let her come back to my house again.
Infact,he has asked me to make plans for my three children to move in with his family so that I can be free enough to run around in preparation for my travelling overseas.

I need your advice,please. All parties are from the South-East. I am in my late 40s. Thank you.’’