Russia chase World Cup glory…drub Saudi Arabia 5-0

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The acronym for Saudi Arabia is KSA but, to be fair, Russia might have got a better game out of KFC. The K stands for Kingdom, but there was nothing regal in this display, and little that was remotely competent, either. Russia won by a record scoreline for an opening game, overtaking Brazil’s 4-0 victory over Mexico in 1950 with almost the last kick of the second half. And it didn’t even flatter them.

Russia have been in poor form and were terrified of being embarrassed on the global stage at a home World Cup. They need not have worried. This was as easy as an opener can get for a host nation, a horrid, humiliating mismatch that should please nobody but the locals. The standard line will be that it is what the tournament needed – the home team off to a flyer, creating a feelgood factor – but seriously, is it? Most worryingly, if FIFA president Gianni Infantino gets his way and the competition expands to 48 teams there will be four entrants from Asia that are weaker than Saudi Arabia were on Thursday. How can that be a good thing?

Considering the state of Russian international football right now maybe they could not have coped with a worthier test, but that is no compensation. Saudi Arabia were just woeful, and it is impossible to see how they can reconfigure their back line in time for meetings with Luis Suarez and Edinson Cavani next week and, finally, Mohamed Salah. If he is fit and firing, the Liverpool man might exceed Russia’s total on his own.

It was an opening fixture that said much about the modern game, too. High up in the Luzhniki Stadium, president Infantino was exactly where he loves to be: in among the money.

On one side, sat Saudi royalty; on the other, his NBF, Russian President Vladimir Putin. As the third goal went in, Infantino gave his berobed companion a little shrug of commiseration. That’s football, it seemed to say. And indeed it is. Two oil and energy magnates and FIFA in the middle. That’s football to a tee.

So all’s well that ends well, for FIFA and Russia, for now. But that’s the problem with first games. Nobody yet knows par. Saudi Arabia offered little, were terribly sloppy and overly intricate at the back, and a better team might even have won by a greater margin. Still, it was better than anyone can have imagined. Russia last won a match at a World Cup finals more than 16 years ago – June 5, 2002, against Tunisia in Kobe – and many were fearing that run might continue. Russia have injuries, a creaking defence, good players spurned and youth not trusted by coach Stanislav Cherchesov. Fortunately, even these weaknesses could not trump one inescapable truth: Saudi Arabia are useless.

Four years ago, a series of controversial decisions helped hosts Brazil overcome Croatia. In this World Cup, conspiracy theorists will have to retrace their steps to the day the draw was made to feed their suspicions. Pulling out Saudi Arabia as opening day opponents is the biggest favour FIFA could have done the hosts. Uruguay and Egypt both boast individuals that could cause even the strongest defence problems. Not Saudi Arabia. Russia knew this was a match they could win and played like it. They scored from their first attack of the game, and did not look back.

It is a recent tradition that the scorer of the World Cup’s first goal never adds to his tally and that may be the case for Iury Gazinsky, too. He is a defensive midfield player by trade, a toiler with Krasnodar and considered rather fortunate to be in the squad. Most had him making up Russia’s numbers, no more. Yet when Yury Zhirkov’s corner was cleared on 12 minutes, Aleksandr Golovin recycled the ball with a deep cross and Gazinsky met it with a header, steering the ball past goalkeeper Abdullah Almuaiouf. There was, potentially, an infringement as Gazinsky jumped with his marker but replays suggested a loss of footing, rather than a push. Saudi Arabia were weak where Russia were aggressive; Gazinsky was simply more determined to get to the cross.