By Charles Awuzie
(Inspiration drawn from the biblical story of Adam and Eve).
Despite the beauty and glory of Eden, it couldn’t support marriage. Yes, Adam and Eve were forced to pack out of Eden in order to continue with their marriage. At a friend’s wedding, a preacher mentioned that Adam yielded to Eve and had a bite of the forbidden fruit because he wanted to save his marriage. According to him “had Adam not eaten the fruit too, only Eve would have been driven out of Eden and that would have been the first separation. But Adam chose his marriage over the beauty of Eden.”
“So what is it about Eden that nearly destroyed the first biblical marriage?”
This question has lived in my mind for over many years until recently, when I logically analyzed the problem of Eden. The beautiful garden had no PRIVACY 🔏.
Every animal could walk in and out of Eden. Even the crooked serpent had no restrictions of movement in Eden. Adam failed to build boundaries. He failed to secure the privacy of his home. So one day, while he was busy at work, the figurative serpent took advantage of the porosity of Eden and penetrated his wife.
I believe that the serpent in that Story is figurative. It represents Third parties who suggest strange thoughts to you in the absence of your spouse. There are people who suggest strange thoughts to your partner in your absence – some suggest that you are cheating and that they should investigate you. Those are the serpents that crept into Eden.
I am writing specifically to married people and the soon-to-be-married. Wealth, beautiful home and a good job will not secure your marriage. Adam had wealth, he had paradise as home and had a good job yet his marriage was at the mercy of a serpent.
Ireti Doyle and her husband Doyle had wealth, a beautiful home etc yet Ireti confessed that her marriage was simply a perfect picture but an ugly reality. At the bottom of every destroyed marriage is the voice of the serpent. The serpent now speaks through Social Media feminists and YouTube Misogynists. There are now more Influencers influencing you from their dangerous misogyny or extreme feminism. Beware of such.
I want to speak more specifically to someone whose marriage is at the mercy of a crooked serpent. You know that the problem in your marriage is the handwork of a third party who hijacked the mind of your partner. It could be their friend or even a total stranger who gained access to their vulnerability. And now, your partner is feeding you the same junk with which they were fed. Don’t blame your partner, blame yourself. You failed to secure your territory.
That was Adam’s first mistake – he failed to create a boundary between his new family and the animals. That’s the mistake some of us are making also – you are failing to build a fence around your family to keep dangerous ‘animals’ away. Hear This: Prayer or Crying can not secure what you expose.
From the day I understood the porosity of Eden and the principle of privacy, my life has never been the same. I enjoy REST – the kind of REST that only comes from SECURITY.
There’s someone who is reading this post who needs to set boundaries. You need to put a stop to people asking you unnecessary questions about your spouse. Beware of Questions like “when will your husband/wife get a job and help in paying bills?”. Respond to such with “How is that your business?”. Do not be kind with people who ask insensitive and disrespectful questions about your partner.
And do not over share your marital bliss or chaos on social media.
Whether you are happy or unhappy in your marriage, keep it away from the public.
Do not use your marriage to “Pepper Them” on social media.
And if you break up, just do it quitely without noise. I know a friend of mine who got divorced 5 years ago and never said a word. He tried another relationship but didn’t succeed and he went back to his wife quitely.
Had he announced his divorce publicly, it wouldn’t have been easy re-marrying his ex wife. Today, they are happy and rebuilding privately. You don’t owe anyone updates about your marriage or relationship.
Had Adam encountered a post like this, he would have secured his home portal and the serpent that deceived Eve would have died without executing his evil plans.
I don’t mean to scare you but if you don’t take the privacy of your home serious, you risk losing your paradise. I know people who used to live in Paradise before who now hide under ‘trees’ for shelter because they allowed a serpent to manipulate the mind of their partner.
Wherever there’s an eve, privacy and security is vital. Because every Eve is an expensive treasure desperately searched for by both men and beasts.
Even on social media, we don’t run an open door policy…. We are CAREFUL and INTENTIONAL. That’s why I Block people who display serpentine character here.
Eden had no privacy. Adam had no boundaries – don’t be like Adam. Set boundaries and enforce privacy.
Remember, the success of a marriage is not a function of the paradise you live in but the boundaries you set.