By Justus Nwakanma
Just before she attained six years, ALLISON OMOREGIE, a beautiful, innocent soul, in and out, went under the knife in the name of female circumcision, also known as Femal Genital Mutilation(FGM).
There is no proven health, social, psychological or physical benefit of this debilitating procedure which involves the partial or complete removal of the external female genitalia or injury to the female genital organs, except for satisfying cultural and tradition demands.
It was not her choice. But being young, she could not resist this imposition. This fetish, demeaning practice was to lead her to many years of pain, depression, humiliation, abuse, birth difficulties and rejection. When she was passing through these agonies, the tradition of her fathers that demanded she underwent the ritual and its promoters were never there for her. They deserted her.
Many years later, this custom is still being practiced in many parts of Nigeria. Against the wish of some parents; against the wish of these innocuous girls. Nobody cares how they feel or what becomes of them in future.
Today, Allison, in this narration with Daily Review Online, says she has continued to endure the long-term physical, psychological, biological and social pains from the procedure, even when she is in her late 40s.
However, she has vowed that none of her children would ever be mutilated although her background and tradition support it. She is one of the lonely voices crying in the wilderness that an end must be put to this obsession and penchant for practices that degrade humanity and deprive our women of their identity and essence.
She says: “I was born into a Christian family but also within an extended family made up of relatives steeped in traditional and cultural practices, and who had a lot of influence on my own parents who were initially quite reluctant to circumcise their female children.
“Our extended family tradition is such that, when a female child is born, she must be circumcised. If it’s not done, it is the belief that members of the extended family of the girl’s father—since it is believed a child is born to the father and members of his extended family—will experience very unpleasant consequences, even death.
“Against this background, my reluctant parents experienced very strong pressure from extended family members, which eventually led to my being circumcised. That act left an indelible scar in my heart and on my body”.
Some of the negative consequences of this practice manifest in sexual inadequacies which include, fear, submission, inhibition and suppression of feelings; repeated pain during intercourse and menstruation and constant feeling of betrayal, bitterness and anger.
These are part of the scars left on the psyche of Allison in her relationships. She said: “Due to the act of genital mutilation I had suffered as a child, on becoming a young female adult, I had harrowing experiences with potential life partners, who could not cope with my sexual inadequacies. One of such unsavoury situations led to serious physical assault from my then-partner that eventually involved the Police.
“I must say I thank my husband, who I met in 1995. He understood the situation and was ready to accept me and my sexual difficulties. One thing led to another and we tied the knot and we are blessed with two children.”
Giving birth
Not many were lucky like her to get married with these inadequacies. For the lucky ones like Allison, giving birth to children has remained a nightmare. Statistics show that many of the women in the rural communities who die during child birth may have been victims of Female Genital Mutilation.
Pressure from Family members
In May 2015, the Nigerian Senate passed a law, Violence against Persons (Prohibition) Bill which seeks to prohibit female circumcision or genital mutilation. But this law has not dissuaded many communities from observing this practice, as many still put pressure on parents to allow their female daughters to be circumcised. Allison faced such pressure even before the law came into being.
She said: “When I had my second daughter, the issue of female genital mutilation came again to haunt me, and that continues even uptill this day, through pressures from members of her paternal extended family. Still, I have vowed that she will never experience what I went through.
“The labour and menstrual pains I have endured all through my lifetime is second to none and will never wish it on my daughter. As expected, as my daughter was growing up, family members started visiting us to discuss her coming of age and for us to make plans for the special ceremony of ritual cutting of her genitalia so that she would be welcomed fully into womanhood and thus entertain suitors, when the time comes.”
The Vow
She describes FGM as a gender-based violence permitted and supervised by society “It’s one of the most inhuman and inhumane acts of gender-based violence in the world,” and she has vowed that none of her children would be ever mutilated again, despite her background and tradition that supports it.
“It has been years of threats and physical assaults from those extended family members, because my husband and I have refused to accept the traditional practice of female genital mutilation to continue to be a multi-generational event, with our daughter.
“I am therefore, through this medium, lending my voice to support action that will end female genital mutilation, in order to protect millions of girls including my daughter so that they do not experience the same suffering I have endured. Female genital Mutilation violates women’s rights to sexual and reproductive health. It is never safe”.