By Odimegwu Onwumere…
I have often heard women in conversations said that this man is caring or the other is stingy. Among the two, many of them in the conversations were looking for ‘caring’ men.
The other day, I took time to ask some women – high and low – what women mean when they say that a man is caring. Most of them could not give the meaning just in one sentence; it was a marathon of explanations ranging from the bodily aspect they need to the affectation side.
In digging far to understand ‘caring’ from women, I came to understand that when a woman says that a man is caring, the man should in earnest check his bank account properly. If she says that a man is stingy, it means that the man is too careful about his bank account becoming red where he was gearing to please woman that man cannot please till eternity.
I’m not too sure what a Rose Hathway meant by the following phrase if not that a man should expend heavily on woman: Woman is whole by all means, not a toy by any means… underneath her hair and make-up there is sign that says: handle with care.
I’ve come to realize from an anonymous that: A woman, no matter how many times she denies it, she will always remember every detail, every moment, every piece of the memories you’ve left her. No matter how much she tries to forget, it will always be there.
In Funke Egbemode’s column Sunday Sun, May 11 2014, one Yusuf in his right of reply wrote: Women all over the world cheat for numerous reasons. Permit me to analyse some of the reasons why women of all age brackets, class and status cheat. Before I enumerate, know that a woman does a thing before she thinks of the consequences when she is under pressure while a man does the opposite.
Yusuf continued: My analysis is derived from true life stories and personal experience. 15% of women cheat because they have very high sexual desires otherwise referred to as ‘hot pants’. 15% cheat because of friends and environmental influences. 20% cheat because of lack of sexual satisfaction due to smaller penis of their husbands or bigger/wider vagina 30% cheat because of financial greed. 5% cheat for revenge on their husbands. 10% cheat because of loneliness and or lack of attention/respect.
Hear him again: Lastly, 5% cheat unknowingly due to spiritual manipulations from wicked men (use of charms) and other spiritual forces. Thanks for this expose on why women cheat so most of us can make amends and seek counselling.
It takes a keen research to find the heart of a woman and touch it appropriately the way she dreams of her desires and sees them in her eyes-mirror. She might not want her man to sacrifice himself too much, but the man must be enough caring to touch her heart of gold. A man who does what he feels is right contrary to what his woman wants has not done any right thing in the eyes of his woman.
Initially, I had thought that the way to a woman’s heart is through being honest to her, but I was dead wrong. In the modern times, the path to a woman’s heart, especially many of them around, is by how often you use your ATM for her. Yet, a man cannot understand a woman’s heart, because it is deeper than anything that is deep and complicated.
At every given point in time, I have noticed that you must handle the heart of a woman with care because it is fragile; else you damage her emotionally and would repair the damage through ‘caring’ for her with your ATM.
Conversely, you cannot handle a woman’s heart with care without handling her pocket also with care. It is all about care and care for a woman. A woman is not happy when what she means by ‘caring’ is deducted by half. You cannot awaken a woman with just words without deeds or with deeds without words. You must be there to make her spark always in joyous mood and blazes even when you can no longer pay your house rent.
I wish us men well on this ‘caring’ mission.
Odimegwu Onwumere, a Poet/Writer, writes from Rivers State.
Tel: +2348032552855
Email: apoet_25@yahoo.com